Am writing this piece after days of putting my ideas on paper as 1. I wasn’t getting a title and 2. It kept erasing from my iPad. (Don’t try to think how that’s possible because myself, I don’t have it figured out)I still don’t have a title.Matter of fact I didn’t want to post this anymore but I put in time and effort to get it together so… Here goes nothing.
At a moment one person can mean the whole world to you and at another,you will chose the world over that one. ”Where have you been all my life?” Could be a question you would ask yourself when you meet that one who makes your heart miss a beat. But when this person continually causes your heart to be missing beats the question changes to “why didn’t you stay in hiding ”
There’s a thin line between love and hate. A cliche we know which has come to lose its full meaning but until it’s happened to you. And when it does you will be fully blown away by the switch. At least I was.lol.
But in reality that line isn’t thin at all. In fact it’s the Great Wall of China between love and hate ( might seem am contradicting myself but read on). That wall becomes invisible as time passes by and we decide to accommodate the people who hurt us in our lives. We give them 2nd, 3rd sometimes up to the millionth chances to redeem themselves and return to the adorable person we fell in love with. At this point we are no more in love with the person ,rather in love with who and what they used to be. Day after day we compensate the good old days with the bad events presently taking place. The relationship now becomes an arithmetic, where their negatives cancels out some positive points they gained in the past. We put in extra at making things work and hang on some hope that things are going to eventually work. Why? Because they show us some light ahead of the tunnel, some hope, but this flickering light don’t fully communicate to us what the other person wants and sends mixed signals. We put in much more work into the relationship however nothing changes.Until we begin to feel like a hamster on some wheels. These wheels are turned all day everyday; a lot of work but no progress. the real reason is the other person we are involved in isn’t even lifting a finger and it looks like we are the only ones wanting the relationship. Occasionally they will see the effort and give a little relieve of change..which doesn’t last. Then like that hamster we are caged and trapped working on a situation that is already broken. We can’t leave because then all the time and energy would have been a total waste..and we can’t stay because we are not happy. (And that’s a bad place to be) the hate then commences. We blame them for the situation we are in but honestly the blame is on us.
So you will agree with that popular line that it takes a short while to fall in love but a longer while to fall out of love. Well I don’t agree. It takes the same amount of time to fall in love to fall back out we just need to stop giving second chances and trying to put shuttered pieces together and save ourselves the hate drama.
Take for instance this friend of mine whose girlfriend would give any absurd reason to break up with him.. Dee you too young let’s break up. You still in school I can’t be with you. You walk too fast so we don’t have any connection bye. Like Dee really it’s clear this girl is wasting your time! You should have left at break up no1 lol
Now there’s something I learnt in my area of business (may seem funny but it’s really practicable in circumstances like this.) it’s the methods of risk management ; either tolerate, treat, transfer or terminate. In every business venture either one method or the other is used in managing business risk taking into consideration specific actors.
But in relationships I will preach it’ as a process.
First tolerate, the word is tolerate not endure. Initial part of tolerating is accepting the problem and taking steps to find a lasting solution. Then treat, how do you do that…simply increase the pool of people you spend time with.meet new people, talk to old friend preferably of the opposite sex(lol..they are called the opposite sex for a reason😜) next stage is transfer. If it were a business, risk is transferred to a third party such as an insurance company but in our relationship transferring risk is either to their friends or side pieces (mostly at this point they might have made that transfer by themselves leave them) allow a third party to bare your “risk”😆. Next.. Is to terminate and yeah in literal sense. Just let go! The end is not suppose to be a process (it’s not the second coming of Jesus) the more we make the end a process the more we give others the permission to freely toy with our emotions and difficult to take the walk
the last thing pray.
God is a better listener.